Just Another Gift Exchange
by Still believes Snivellus aka Heather Granger
Summary: COMPLETE! Happy Christmas! - What happens when Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are forced to participate in a Secret Santa Gift Exchange? Read to find out. Response to my own WIKTT challenge.
1. Slim pickings

Chapter 1  
  
By  
  
Heather Granger  
  
A/N: This is a response to my own challenge, I hope you like it, and   
if you have any suggestions please review. (Oh and if you are   
going to flame me, please remember that I do have feelings.)  
  
"Gather round everyone! The staff meeting shall commence.   
Now, most of you are probably wondering why I called you here   
today, seeing that it is the first day of the Christmas holiday. This   
year I thought we should get to know each other a little better, and   
so we are going to do a Secret Santa gift exchange!" Albus boomed   
happily. Severus Snape got up from the chair in the corner of his   
office and turned for the door.  
  
"Severus, where would you be going?" Albus asked peering   
over his glasses.  
  
"I needed cause myself more inflicted pain this year,   
Headmaster, I was just going to excuse myself from this merry little   
gift exchange." The words came dripping off his tongue.   
  
"Ah, Severus I shall indeed need to call you a scrooge if you   
refuse to participate, and I daresay if you refuse, I might have to   
overlook your request to attend the book signing of Extremely   
Potent Potions by Gurdinline Browling." Albus whispered in his ear.   
  
He had stabbed him, directly where he knew it would hurt him   
the most. All Albus had heard from the PotionÕs Master in the last   
two weeks was about using BrowlingÕs books for the Seventh years.   
Severus turned and made himself comfortable in the chair   
again, with a most disgusted look upon his face.  
  
"Now, then, I have taken the liberty of writing down all of your   
names on these slips of paper. They have had an invisibility charm   
cast on them, so there will be no cheating."  
  
Severus could have sworn seeing a strange glimmer in his   
eye, and became very suspicious.   
  
"Everyone will grab one slip of paper, and cast a reveling   
charm on the paper to see who you will be getting gifts for." Albus   
stated jovially.   
  
"Excuse me, Professor. How long does this Secret Santa gift   
exchange last?" Hermione Granger, the new librarian at Hogwarts   
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry asked.  
  
"Oh, yes, thank you Hermione, We will be starting on the 18th   
of December, and you will give one present a day, mind you it   
neednÕt be a large gift, something you might think the person might   
like. On the last day, which will be Boxing Day, you will exchange a   
slightly larger gift, and reveal yourself to that person.   
  
Does that clear things up? Good! Now the sorting hat has   
kindly volunteered itself, and I will walk around and take one piece   
of paper."  
  
Hermione glanced at Severus, he was looking very foul, and   
she could tell he was not looking forward to the festivities that the   
Headmaster had planned. Ever since Voldermort had come back in   
her Fourth year, she noted that his health and what little spirit he   
had, had been slowly deteriorating. She couldnÕt help but feel sorry   
for him, not only did he not have any friends, it looked as if the way   
he was acting he would never have any.   
  
Hermione was stirred from her daydreaming when she heard   
Albus whisper something to the hat, what he said she couldnÕt tell,   
but it seemed highly suspicious to her.  
  
"Now, remember what we discussed earlier, make sure that   
she takes this one, and he takes that one." Albus whispered to the   
sorting hat. Pointing to two pieces of white paper.  
  
"Shall we begin? Remember who you receive should remain   
a secret to everyone." Albus said as he walked around and   
Minivera grabbed the first slip and the rest of the faculty followed.   
When hat reached Severus, he could have sworn that the piece of   
paper that he grabbed was not the same size as the one he came   
up without of the hat. He gave the hat a piercing look, and went   
back to the corner.  
  
"Right then, cast your reveling charm, and find out who you   
have." Albus instructed.  
  
"Reveolo!" Everyone shouted, as the ink on the parchment   
began to come into focus.  
  
Hermione glanced down and saw she had Severus. She   
sighed, she may have felt sorry for him, but that didnÕt mean she   
particularly liked him. It seemed as if he enjoyed going out of his   
way to point out every little error that she made. This was going to   
be much more difficult than she originally thought.  
  
At the same moment, Severus gave a quick glance down at   
his parchment and saw Hermione GrangerÕs name scribbled down.  
  
ÔGreat, just what I wanted, a young Gryffindor know-it-all.Õ He   
thought to himself. He glanced over at her. She was playing with   
her hair, deep in useless thought. ÔI thought I would have been rid   
of her after she graduated, but of course she had to come back,   
show everyone how perfect she was.Ô   
  
ÔWhat in MerlinÕs name am I going to get her? I donÕt even   
know her middle name, let alone what gift she would like.Õ  
This was going to be a long week. 


	2. All you get is COAL!

Chapter 2  
  
As the faculty departed. Hermione noticed that Snape was the first to   
leave. ÔIf he hates it here so much why does he stay?Õ She thought as she   
grabbed her cloak and made her way onto the grounds, but was stopped   
when she heard voices down below her in the entryway.   
  
The voices belonged to Severus Snape and Sirius Black.  
  
Severus Snape was being followed by none other than his worst   
enemy, and Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Sirius Black.  
  
"So, Snake, who did you end up with?" Black mocked.  
  
"I believe the Headmaster wished for us to keep it secret, unlike you   
Black, I do have a high regard of rules!" He said trying to get him to bugger   
off.  
  
"Oh, it is just a bit of fun, but then again you wouldnÕt know fun if it   
was right in front of that long pointy nose of yours, would you?"  
  
"Sod off Black, I believe when the Headmaster hired you he said   
nothing to me about being friendly, so just go back to you happy little fantasy   
world, and I will go back to reality."   
  
"Fantasy land? I do not live in some fantasy, forgive me for being   
happy! For MerlinÕs sake Snape, He is dead, Voldermort is dead, and I   
should think that you would be somewhat grateful that you didnÕt end up   
dead, or in Azkaban, with all of the horrible things you did."   
  
"The day I have pity on you for being in Azkaban for those years, is   
the day I fall down on my knees and worship your precious Godson. Need I   
remind you that I kept that brat of yours safe, while you got what you had   
long deserved.  
  
I served my penance, thank you very much." He said and walked   
towards the dungeons.  
  
"You will never pay for letting all of those innocent people die! As far   
as I am concerned your hands will never be clean of the blood of those   
people who died while you were in allegiance with Voldermort. Maybe some   
people overlooked the fact that you were responsible for Lady AdolynÕs   
death, but I do not forget that easy!" Black said, looking about ready to   
throw a punch. Snape whirled around and drew his wand.  
  
"Black, I would watch what you say, especially since the thing that you   
call a brain, doesnÕt even know what it is talking about. Besides, you   
wouldnÕt want me to tell Potter about how his Godfather would constantly   
cheat on every girlfriend he ever had, including his own mother, would you?   
Or perhaps I should inform him that even you betrayed James, during his   
time of need?" Snape said raising his eyebrows.  
  
"You canÕt prove a thing! Besides, Harry hates you anyway, he would   
never believe you." Black said half laughing.  
  
"You keep telling yourself those lies Black, maybe one day you will   
actually believe them." Snape said as he walked down to the dungeons.   
  
Black was still standing there, worked up over the tiff that he had just   
had, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around quickly drawing   
his wand.  
  
"Sirius, I must ask that you relax, this is not Azkaban." Albus said,   
pushing BlackÕs wand away from his face.  
  
"Sorry, Headmaster, just reflexes you know." He said feeling bad that   
he had drawn his wand on the great wizard.  
  
"No, need to apologize, just be careful in the future. Did I hear you   
and Severus arguing down here?" He asked.  
  
"It started out as a civil conversation but then he had to bring up   
certain events.." He stressed, but Albus cut him off.  
  
"Sirius, may I remind you, that Severus had done nothing worse than   
you or I ever had. And Severus is right, you should not blame him for things   
in which you do not know the full story."  
  
"If you are referring to Lady Adolyn, I was there, I saw what he did, I   
testified against him!"  
  
"Sirius, You do not have the whole story, and I am not going to give it   
to you, because it is not my story to tell. I must ask you to exercise caution   
when discussing the past with our PotionÕs Master. Just as you have things   
you are not willing to discuss freely, Severus has far more."  
  
"I still donÕt understand why you trust that.. Man." He had to refrain   
himself from saying something worse. Albus just gave him a look, and they   
walked off into the Great Hall.  
  
Hermione was still standing on the second floor having just listened to   
the conversation. She wondered who Lady Adolyn was. She was surprised   
that Snape did not hex Sirius into next year. However she was not surprised   
at the fact that Sirius had a bad habit of straying when he was younger. She   
felt sorry for whoever had Snape as their Secret Santa; if it were Sirius he   
would probably be receiving coal, with a larger piece at the end of the week.   
She still had no idea what to get Snape for Christmas, but she was   
determined to find something in Hogsmeade, so she pulled up her hood, and   
walked out into the snow down the path towards the small town.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile back down in the dungeons, Severus Snape slammed his   
door to his chambers, causing his cat to jump.  
  
"I hate that man! The insufferable git! Thinks he know everything   
does he? I know far more about him than he would ever know about me!"   
He yelled, as he bent down and picked up his cat and sat down at his desk.   
His cat meowed, and jumped down and pranced over to the fireplace, and   
curled back to sleep.  
  
"Stryker, you know you make an awful pet!" He said peering down   
at the black cat. He looked back at Severus and yawned.  
  
"I think that if you were human, you would be exactly like me. Have   
you eaten today?" He asked Stryker. He responded by rubbing Severus leg.   
  
"Oh of course when it has to do with food, you are sympathetic. Just   
because youÕre hungry, doesnÕt mean I will feed you. You are horrid at   
sucking up. You could use some lessons from Draco Malfoy." At this   
Stryker hissed, and jumped up onto SeverusÕs desk and proceeded to lay on   
his papers, until he was fed. Severus laughed. "At least someone in this castle   
understands me." Snape snickered.  
  
"There! Happy now?" Snape said as he put his catÕs bowl on the   
floor. The cat responded by meowing.  
  
Albus gave Severus his cat when he came to HogwartÕs to teach.   
Snape never had a pet when he was at school. His family did not want child   
ruining their precious 14th century antique rugs in the first place, let alone an   
animal.  
  
Albus thought that the companion, would comfort him, at least until he   
could find a suitable wife. According to the Headmaster, an animal was a fine   
cure for being lonely, but a woman was much better.   
  
If Severus didnÕt know any better, the old wizard was worse than his   
own mother, and ever since Hermione Granger came back to Hogwarts he   
would go out of his way to find a way to leave them in each otherÕs   
uncomfortable presence. In the back of his mind he felt that this Secret Santa   
idea was just another excuse for him to get to know Miss Granger. But as far   
as he was concerned, Hermione Granger would never be anything more than   
an annoyance in his eyes. 


	3. Unexplained Memories

Chapter 3 

Hermione Granger continued walking down the path to Hogsmeade, trying to think of a few gift ideas, but the more and more she thought, the more she realized how little she knew of the man. 

Severus Snape stood beside her when Voldermort stormed the castle, he was faithful to Dumbledore for he helped defeat Voldermort, and safe her life. Hermione was in her Seventh year, when the battle between the Light and the Dark grew stronger. 

She was then taking Advanced Potions, which only had five students, three Ravenclaws, a Slytherin, and herself, a Gryffindor. She was the first Gryffindor in a decade to take Advanced Potions, and she like every other subject worked very hard to insure that she receive top marks.

She remembered one day in class when Snape asked her to stay after.

_ÒMiss Granger, you will stay after and explain to me the correct way to slice Bichorn root!Ó He yelled, as Hermione was trying to say a spell to stop the bleeding in her finger._

ÒYes sir.Ó She whispered. Snape looked her in the eyes and Hermione looked right back, with silent tears in her eyes. Within seconds SnapeÕs foul face softened and she watched as he withdrew back to his desk.

_Hermione cleaned her cauldron and placed the ingredients back on the shelves, where they belong, and walked over to SnapeÕs desk, where he was writing notes to the Third years on the last exam on Sleeping Draughts. _

_ÒYou wanted to see me sir.Ó She started out._

_ÒMiss Granger, I would think that being in Advanced Potions you would have learned by now how to handle the ingredients. I do not care if you were daydreaming, if you cannot focus on strictly potions while you are in here, I must ask you not to bother coming. Do you understand me?Ó He bit out at her._

_ÒSir, I am sorry, the knife just slipped, I know the proper way.Ó Hermione said._

_ÒYes, the proper way to muck things up!Ó At this Hermione grew angered and raised her voice._

_ÒIt was a mistake! You cannot tell me that you have never in all you life made a single mistake!Ó She yelled._

_ÒDetention Miss Granger! And if you raise your voice to me again you will be looking at a suspension. And as to your question, I have made mistakes, but I do not think you or your companions have any idea the sort of impact a single mistake can make to ruin your life!Ó He said in a deadly whisper._

_ Hermione did not know what to say in return, if she responded at that moment she probably would have faced suspension, so she grabbed her bag and headed for the door._

_ Ò8 oÕclock Miss Granger!Ó He said as she put her hand on the door._

_ ÒSee you then!Ó She bit out._

_ Later that evening, Hermione saw that the PotionÕs room door was ajar, so she pushed it open a bit further and waited for Snape. _

_ While she was waiting she walked around the doorways and saw a Latin inscription, which she had never seen before. She read it first in Latin, then spoke the translation aloud in English._

_ ÒTo sit alone with my sins shall be enough punishment to last a lifetime.Ó As she said these words the wall that stood before her disappeared and she was now faced with a long winding tunnel. She entered the pathway, and heard what sounded like an animalÕs cry. She got a sense of dŽjˆ vu, when the sound struck her ears. It reminded her of the time Harry, Ron and her went looking for Sirius Black in their Third year. She shuttered at the thought._

_ Curiosity got the better of her when she looked at the time and saw it was nearly 8:30. ÔWhere is Snape?Õ She thought. She heard the cry again and walked through this new doorway._

_ ÒLumos!Ó She shouted as her wand now lit the way. _

_She followed the pathway until she came to a staircase with windows. According to the direction she was walking towards she was near the Infirmary._

_The cries were increasing, and Hermione grew frightened by the noise. She wondered if she was headed towards SnapeÕs chambers. She reached the door, in which she thought the cries were coming from and started to turn the knob. Just as she began opening the large wood door, there was a hand placed on her shoulder. She screamed and dropped her wand_.

_ÒHermione! It is alright, there is no need to be frightened.Ó She recognized the voice, it was the Headmaster._

_ÒHeadmaster, oh I am so sorry, I just heard the cries, and wanted to help, I was waiting for Professor Snape, but he never came, and I am sorry.Ó She stuttered._

ÒHush, child, I am not blaming you. Curiosity is one of the more dangerous traits of the Gryffindor, if you know what I am saying.Ó He smiled.

_ÒProfessor Snape sent me down to the dungeons to tell you that he is unable to attend your detention, but I do believe your time has past, so if you follow me I will show you out to the Great Hall.Ó He said as he guided her away from the door._

_ÒHeadmaster what is that noise?Ó She asked._

_ÒNoise? I donÕt hear anything.Ó He said avoiding her eyes._

_ÒSurely you heard those cries?Ó She questioned again._

_ÒYou donÕt give in easily do you Miss Granger?Ó_

_ÒNo, never.Ó_

_ÒYou are in the Staff hallways, and the door that you nearly opened was right below the Infirmary. Poppy must have a few patients in pain, that is all.Ó He said, but Hermione knew there was something he wasnÕt telling her._

_ÒI must ask you that, while you are a student here that you do not go wandering in these corridors again.Ó He said stopping and looking in her eyes._

_ÒYes, sir, of course.Ó Hermione replied._

_ÒWhat happened to Professor Snape, he never misses a detention, he hands them out like candy.Ó She asked as they reached the great hall._

_ÒSeverus, forgot this afternoon, that he had a meeting with me at 8:00, that is all.Ó Hermione wondered if he was telling her the truth again. Why would he had forgotten, and why did SnapeÕs classroom have a secret passageway leading up towards the Infirmary?_

****

Hermione never did go down the staff hallway until she herself was a staff member. She couldnÕt help to think about her unanswered questions that night, and whether or not Snape would remember that night or not. What struck her most was the way he went from complete anger, to almost a pained and saddened look when he looked into her eyes. 

Could he read minds? She had remembered reading somewhere that some wizards and witches had the ability to read minds, but it took a lot of practice, and a special magical ability. It seemed all through out her schooling Snape would somehow know they were lying, or if they were afraid of him before anything was said.

She had tried to remember what at that moment she was thinking, but could not remember. Whatever it had been it would to have been something outlandish, because it caused him to recoil back to his desk.

She had now walked all the way to the shops in Hogsmeade and was still no closer in knowing what to get Severus for Christmas. Whatever she was to get him, she wanted him to take pleasure in it, perhaps for once in his life feel happy.


	4. Christmas's Past

A/N: Sorry about the Quotes, in Word when I save it as a html it does this   
on ff.net. If you know how I could possibly fix this leave me a note in the   
reviews. I have raised the rating to PG-13 because of the cursing, and it is   
somewhat angsty. I hope you like it and I apologize for any grammatical   
errors.  
  
  
Chapter 4  
Severus stirred on his couch, and opened his eyes to find Stryker laying on his chest.  
  
"Get off you lazy fool." He said sleepily. Striker opened his eyes and hopped off onto   
the floor and went back to sleep.  
  
"I wonder what time it is." Severus said as he walked towards his desk which held his   
clock.  
  
"6Õoclock in the evening! What on earth did I do to be so tired?" He wondered. He   
walked over to the bathroom and closed his potions cabinet, so he was staring himself in the   
face in the mirror. He turned on the faucet and splashed his face with cold water. His   
hands stopped on his face, tracing them down his forehead to his chin. He shut his eyes,   
and hit the mirror with his hand. Instantly the pieces of glass entered his left hand. Cursing   
out in pain he ran his hand under the water, and watched as the blood ran down the drain.   
He had gone through more mirrors this way.  
  
After he had washed away most of the blood, he removed the pieces of glass, and rapped his   
hand in the hand towel laying on the counter. He had left his wand in the HeadmasterÕs   
office. He hated himself, looking in the mirror he saw the truth, he saw the past that haunted   
him.  
  
"Black doesnÕt know shit!" Severus cursed. It was times like these when he lost his   
eloquence with words and reverted back into his 11 year old self. He hates to admit it but   
his school day fights and confrontations with Potter and Company were nothing compared   
to the pain and anguish he went through after leaving Hogwarts. Black had no clue what he   
had gone through and he would rather die than to tell him the truth, because the truth was   
simply humiliating.  
  
"Stryker stay here, I will be back later." Snape hissed. He made his way to the door and   
slammed it shut as Stryker jumped up in terror.  
  
"Twizzle Figgs!" Snape shouted at the gargoyles that guarded the HeadmasterÕs door.   
Slowly the gargoyles moved, and the staircase appeared. With his hand covered in a bloody   
rag, he made his way up to retrieve his wand.   
  
"Severus?" Albus questioned as he saw him enter through the door. He glanced down   
and saw his hand, and gave a disappointed look.  
  
"Not again Severus? That I believe is the 10th mirror you have broken." Albus said as he   
approached him.  
  
"What I do on my own time is my own business." Snape sneered.  
  
"Inflicting pain on yourself is not healthy Severus." Albus said as he motioned for the   
PotionÕs Master to sit down.  
  
"I do not do it intentionally, you know that." He said as he looked down at his feet.  
  
"You cannot change the past Severus, you know that. You must move on."  
  
"How can I when I am constantly reminded!"  
  
"You must tell yourself that you did the best you could and move on, that is all."  
  
"It is not that simple."  
  
"I know Severus, why else would you be struggling with this for 25 years now."  
  
"Yes, I do not need reminding." He said taking his wand in his hand and unwrapping the   
soiled cloth.  
  
"Give me your hand, you were never good and healing yourself." Albus smiled. Severus   
obeyed and pushed up the sleeve of his robe. Albus wrapped his hands over SeverusÕs and   
whispered an ancient spell, and instantly his hand was no longer bloody and broken. Albus   
looked down and starred at the arm where the dark mark once occupied.  
  
"Funny, how we doubt the past, waiting and wondering what will be next." Albus said   
letting go of SeverusÕs hand.  
  
"I live in the past, you of all people know that."  
  
"I know, pity really, if you could just find a nice woman and settle down." At this Severus   
gave the Headmaster a queried look.  
  
"So I suppose you and the Hat are in this together?" Severus questioned.  
  
"What makes you say that? This gift exchange is merely a festive activity, to get the faculty   
involved." Albus eyes twinkled.  
  
"So, letÕs just say that this is not another excuse to get me and Granger together, what   
would you get her?" He questioned knowing that Albus was lying.  
  
"Ah, so you donÕt know what to get your Secret Santa? Well, I did happen to notice that   
Miss Granger spends quite a bit of her time in the library."  
  
"I am not blind, Albus I know she spends all of her time with her nose in books, but   
perhaps she would like something else, something different." He rose his eyebrows.  
  
"Ah, I knew my plan would work." Albus said.  
  
"Ah ha, I caught you, I knew this was another useless attempt to get me to get to know her.   
Well I will tell you this right now. I have not, and will not love another woman! I will not   
put myself at risk again!" He shouted.  
  
"Severus, really donÕt you think you should move on. Adolyn would have wanted you to be   
happy, in fact I know it." Albus said as he looked at the saddened man in front of him.  
  
"Forgive me Headmaster but you donÕt know shit, so piss off, and stop trying to help me.   
No one can help me!" He yelled as he walked off in anger.  
  
"No, Severus I cannot help you, you must help yourself before it is too late." Albus said   
to himself.  
  
"I think it is time for me to take a visit to Hogsmeade." Albus said as he threw some floo   
powder into the fireplace and stepped in.  
  
"RosmertaÕs!" 


	5. Frosted Windowpanes

Chapter 5  
  
Hermione made her way through the streets of Hogsmeade as it   
bustled with holiday shoppers. It was nearly 7o'clock and she had bought   
plenty of things for herself, and her other friends, but still nowhere closer to   
getting her Secret Santa anything.  
  
"Headmaster?" She asked in query.  
  
"Ah, Hermione, how lovely to see you again." Albus said.  
  
"Headmaster do tell me you remember I did see you earlier this   
morning in your office." Hermione said, wondering if the man was really   
growing a bit senile.   
  
"Of course, of course, it is just I did not expect you would be here."   
The headmaster's eyes twinkled again.  
  
"You know me, the early bird that always catches the worm."  
  
"What is that my dear?" Albus asked confused.  
  
"Oh, it is a muggle expression, that is all."  
  
"I must remember that, we have a similar saying, the early owl always   
receives the toast." Albus chuckled.  
  
"And I must remember that. So, Headmaster what brings you here?"   
Hermione questioned.  
  
"Well, I thought as well as getting my Secret Santa gifts I would also   
get my other friends presents as well. Every year there is one in particular I   
find extremely difficult." Albus said.  
  
"Let me guess, Severus Snape?"  
  
"How did you know my dear? Yes, it seems that there is so little these   
days that brings him joy."  
  
"Sir if I may ask, why does he hate Christmas, I mean he hates   
everyday, but it seems he truly despises Christmas."  
  
"Hermione, Severus is a very complicated man, with a very rough   
past. He has seen little happiness in his days, and when he did, it was always   
taken from him." Albus explained.  
  
"Well, what does he enjoy?" She asked hopping to get a clue what to   
get him for Christmas.  
  
"I do believe the dear Potion's Master has a liking for fine chocolates."   
  
"Chocolates? Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, I believe so. You know the chocolates with the liquors in them."   
Albus said not knowing if this were true or not, but hey he had always read   
that chocolate was an aphrodisiac, and getting Severus a little sloshed, might   
be good for him.   
  
'Oh the games I play.' He thought to himself.  
  
"I believe I have some shopping to do, good day professor." Hermione   
bid her farewell and walked down to Rosmerta's.  
  
"If he likes chocolates, I am sure he only likes the best, and the best I   
do believe are Belgium chocolates." She said to herself as she grabbed some   
floo powder.  
  
"Drussles Chocolates!" She shouted into the fire and off she went to   
Belgium.  
  
***********  
  
"Good day Miss! How may I be of service to you?" An older lady   
asked her.  
  
"Yes, hello, I was wondering if you had any chocolate liquors?"  
  
"Of course dear, the finest in the wizarding world! Come right over   
here and I will show you." Hermione walked over to the counter and   
listened.  
  
"Now our most popular liquors are these ones right here." She said as   
she pointed to an oval silver tin.  
  
"They are dark chocolate filled with assorted liquors such as   
Mandarine NapolŽon, Rhum, Vodka, Cointreau, Cognac, Grand Marnier,   
Poire William, and Whisky." The woman finished.  
  
"Well, the color of the tin is highly appropriate for a Slytherin, and if   
he likes chocolate at all, I am sure the darker the better. I will take it."   
  
"Very good dear, that will be 5 galleons please. Thank you and have a   
happy holiday." She said as Hermione took the floo back to Hogsmeade.  
  
Hermione slowly walked through the streets, looking and the families.   
There were children playing, and couples holding hands. This made her sad.   
Her parents had died at the hands of Voldermort, and ever since Christmases   
were hard on her. She remembered how her dad would always burn the   
turkey, and the roast potatoes would still be crunchy, but she didn't mind   
because they were together.  
  
"Look darling, a new cloak! Isn't beautiful?" Hermione heard a   
woman say to her husband. She sighed. Why couldn't she be normal, why   
couldn't she let herself fall in love? It seemed to be getting harder and harder   
to show feelings towards another person, she had spent too many days alone   
to be worrying about how she might screw up a relationship, to even think of   
being in one.  
  
She continued down the path, when she looked in a shop's window   
and saw Albus holding up a thong. At this she went pink, 'What in earth's   
name was he doing in a woman's lingerie shop holding up a pair of red   
knickers?" She couldn't help be curious, but was too embarrassed for the   
Headmaster to go and ask, so she kept on walking.  
  
"Well one gift down, seven more to go.." She said as she made her way back   
up to her home.  
  
  
  
A/N: So what is up with the knickers? You will just have to wait and seeÉ. 


	6. He's Making his List

Chapter 6  
  
"Why does everyone think I am unhappy? I am happy, see." Severus   
said to himself as he tried to make his face twist into a smile, but it quickly   
faded.  
  
"Why do I let it bother me anyway? I have never cared what anyone   
thought before." But Severus knew that this was a lie. If he didn't let it   
bother him, then why did he hex Black too many times to count, and slowly   
walled himself in. His skin became leather, and his tongue a whip; he would   
not let anything get to him. If they ever found out the truth, he would not be   
able to live with himself.  
  
Severus continued walking around the castle trying to calm himself   
down once again. He came by Minerva's office, and looked in. To his   
surprise it looked as if she was wrapping a pair of socks, gold socks to be   
exact. He was curious, so he knocked.  
  
"Yes? Oh Severus, what can I do for you?" Minivera said placing the   
socks in question down on the wrapping paper.  
  
"What are you doing, Minerva?" He asked, as his eyebrows rose.  
  
"Well, I am wrapping my Christmas present, what do you think I am   
doing?" She asked,  
  
"Socks? Really couldn't a Gryffindor like you come up with   
something a little more creative?"  
  
"Really Severus, what would you get, or should I say what are you   
getting for your Secret Santa?  
  
"I haven't really made up my mind, I have certain standards to uphold,   
you know that."  
  
"You know Severus, I have never fully understand how you can give   
such lavish gifts for other people, and yet you yourself are never pleased by a   
single one."  
  
"I have no other use for my money, why not spend it."  
  
"I am not protesting, but every year you never sign your gifts,   
although I have figured you out, why do you do this?"  
  
"Why? I do not need more unwanted questions and prodding. I am a   
solitary man."  
  
"Don't you find your solitude quite trying?"  
  
"Honestly Minerva, I won't lie, if I could change the past I would. I   
would give all of my gold in Gringotts to be a different person, but I can't   
now can I." Severus said pushing his hair out of his face.  
  
"No, but you can change the future."  
  
"No, you see that is where you are wrong, why be someone I am not?   
I am not some kind of puppet to be played with by you and Albus."  
  
"Yes, you are right, I am sorry Severus I did not mean to offend you.   
You know, Albus does it out of the kindness of his heart. He only wants to   
see you happy. I hope you know that."  
  
He sighed, "I do, and believe me I want it for myself more than you   
could know but.." Severus choked.  
  
"But what Severus? We have always be completely honest with each   
other, even when you were my student."  
  
"Never mind, I have to go get my gift, good evening Minerva."   
Severus said quickly.  
  
"Poor man, I wish I could help him, but he won't even listen to me."  
  
******  
Severus had to get his mind occupied with something else. He was   
determined to find something for Hermione and then take a long, hot shower   
and forget all about Christmas.  
  
Severus made his way to the fireplace and grabbed some floo powder.  
  
"Where to go, where to go?" He said to himself. He stepped into the   
fire and shouted "Adriano's!"  
  
He steeped out of the fire, and found himself in the finest wizarding   
shopping district, located in Italy. Adriano's specifically was an ink and quill   
shop. He himself purchased his own quills from here, and he remembered   
one day when Hermione commented on his quill.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
"Severus, may I borrow your quill?" Hermione asked one day when   
they were in the library together doing research to see if co-teaching would   
be both productive, and beneficial to the students. But after that day in the   
library, they both voted against the idea at the next staff meeting.  
  
"And, where may I ask is yours?"  
  
"I left in my rooms, come on I just need it for a minute." Hermione   
said annoyed.  
  
"If I let you use it for a minute, then who knows how long you might   
have it? Or who knows, maybe you will think you can use it anytime you   
like. No, I think not." Severus was having fun annoying her.  
  
"Severus, just give me the bloody quill!"  
  
"No, sorry try again."  
  
"For Merlin's sakes, you are the most insufferable man!" Hermione   
said as she stood up and started to walk out the door.  
  
"Oh here! Just take it!" He said annoyingly.  
  
"No, I wouldn't want to inconvenience the all mighty Potion's Master,   
I will go get my own."  
  
"Take the damm thing, I am not using it."  
  
"FINE! Did that hurt you? Giving to another person like that?"   
Hermione egged on, as she grabbed hold of the quill and started to write   
down her notes.   
  
Severus walked over to the Restricted Section and grabbed out a large   
black silver book. Then with a wicked smile on his face he laid it open.   
This book happened to be the same book that Harry Potter took out the   
night he was in the Restricted Section in his first year, because it let out an   
almighty bloodcurdling scream.  
  
Hermione jumped out of her chair and yelled. Severus couldn't help   
but laugh as he put the book back on the shelf.  
  
To an outsider it would have looked like they were perhaps flirting,   
but to Hermione and Severus the only thing they were flirting with were   
each other's nerves.  
  
"Here is your bloody quill back!" Hermione shouted as she threw it   
down on the desk.  
  
"Be careful with that, it is very expensive!" He said giving her a   
look.  
  
"Despite it owner, it has a very nice demeanor and I enjoyed using it   
very much." Hermione said as she walked out of the library.  
  
'How dare she!' He thought to himself, as he picked up the quill and   
walked out of the library.  
  
(End of Flashback)  
  
"Well at least I know she might enjoy the quill." Severus said as he   
walked up to the store counter and received help.  
  
"Hello, may I be of some assistance today?" The clerk asked.  
  
"Well that truly depends on you. I am in need of a Clarkson and Gable   
quill."  
  
"Someone knows his quills, yes our selection is right here." He said   
pointing down to the case.  
  
"We have an assortment of colors and shapes. These on the left are   
our women's quills, and I am sure by your looks you are quite the charmer!"   
The clerk exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, you have no idea." Severus said rolling his eyes. He hated   
Christmas shopping, not because of the crowds, but because of the clerks. It   
seemed every year they went out of their way to make him jolly. He   
smirked, the day he was a jolly man would be the day that he came down the   
chimney dressed in a big red suit.  
  
Severus surveyed the quills and found a beautiful iridescent quill that   
changed colors in the light. If she didn't like that one, he supposed that he   
could find it in the trash a few days later and use it for himself. That was   
Severus for you, always thinking about the worst possible outcome, and then   
trying to benefit from it.  
  
"I will take that one." He said as he pointed to the iridescent quill.  
  
"Very well, excellent choice, I am sure your girlfriend will love it."   
  
"No, It is not for my girlfriend."  
  
"Wife, then?"  
  
"No, work colleague."   
  
"Oh, I see what you are saying, you sly dog you, shame, shame!"  
  
"No, you don't understand, oh never mind!"  
  
"That will be 20 galleons please."  
  
"Here, take it, and watch what you assume!" Severus hissed and took   
the floo as quickly as he could back to Hogwarts.  
  
"Well, gods only knows how I will last for seven more days. Oh please   
help me find my sanity!" Severus shouted as he waked into his chambers   
undressing as he went. He was going to get in that shower and never come   
out, well at least not until dinner. 


	7. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

A/N: I would like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers, and I am trying to   
write as fast as I can, but I have a lot more chapters to go, so I will try and   
get at least two up a day if not more. It might extended a bit beyond   
Christmas. I have fixed the quotes thanks to Manic. I am still having   
trouble with the single quotes, but at least that occurs less often. Well I hope   
you like this chapter. The last two chapters were a blast to write.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
  
"Good Evening everyone! It looks like it is the first day of our gift   
exchange already! I hope everyone has fun thus far; remember we still have   
7 more fun-filled days to go." Albus said to the faculty as they gathered in   
his office on the 18th of December.  
  
Thus far Severus had only gotten today's gift taken care of, as for the   
rest, they would have to wait. He prayed that by the end of this all he would   
still be in one piece.  
  
Hermione was finding her shopping at a standstill, after the   
chocolates, she was once again no further than before she had left the castle   
that previous morning. She was determined to go to the source, even if that   
meant she would have to revert to her schoolgirl days of sneaking around.  
  
"Shall we, everyone? All of the gifts are on the table with your name   
on it, so do come up and pick your gift." Everyone got up and approached   
the table, there were some small gifts, and some that were quite large.   
Obviously like everything else at Hogwarts no one pays attention to the   
rules. Cost clearly was not an issue with some of these gifts.   
  
Hermione felt a twinge of guilt, all she had gotten Severus was   
chocolates, 'At least no one has to know.' Or so she thoughtÉ  
  
"All right everyone, open your gifts and we will go around and share."   
Albus said with a smile on his face. Although others around him were not   
smiling, one in particular.  
  
"How about starting us off, Filius?"  
  
"All right, it looks like I have gotten a nice new silver money bag."   
He squeaked. There were several ooh's and ahh's as he held it up for   
everyone to see.  
  
"You next Poppy." Dumbledore said after the commotion died down.  
  
"It looks like I have received a lovely charm bracelet with several   
healing charms on it, very convenient."  
And on it went around the circle, rather peacefully until they got to   
Sirius.  
  
"Now let's see, it looks like I have gotten a lovely new Quidditch set.   
Obviously Snape isn't my Secret Santa, or else I wouldn't have gotten   
anything but coal from old Scrooge! I was worried there for a while." Sirius   
laughed. Snape's hand clutched his wand. Then next few moments were a   
blur to everyone in the room. Severus had just about had enough of Black's   
antics and sent a curse to the gift Black was holding. The bludgers released   
themselves from their case, and started swarming around his head. Snape's   
curse intended just to scare him, but with all of the moving around he was   
doing he got a few bludgers to the head.  
  
It finally ended with Albus casting Finite Incantatum, leaving Black   
with a bloody nose, and Snape bound to his chair.  
  
"We will continue as planned, then afterwards I would like, both   
Sirius and Severus to stay and we will have a discussion on adult behavior!"   
Albus said staring at both of them.  
  
"Hermione I do believe you were next." Albus said as he sat back   
down in his chair.  
  
"Um, yes well it looks like I have gotten a new quill." She held it up   
for everyone to see.  
  
"Very nice, that looks like an import!" Albus exclaimed.  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"I have gotten a silver tin, it appears." He said still quite annoyed at   
Black.  
  
"Why don't you see what is in the tin, Severus?" Minerva urged.  
  
"Right, it appears to be chocolates, I am so glad that I received a gift I   
can not use!" He exclaimed sarcastically.  
  
"Come now, Severus everyone likes chocolate." Albus prodded,   
seeing the disheartened look from Hermione.  
  
"Not when you are allergic to them!" He bit out.  
  
"Well you could always feed them to Stryker." Filius chimed in.  
  
"Right, I am sure the liqueurs inside would make him healthy as a   
unicorn." He said still in an extremely foul mood.  
  
"And it looks like I have gotten a lovely pair of gold socks!" Albus   
exclaimed urgently changing the subject.  
  
"Sirius, Severus, you will stay." Albus said.  
  
"Wait, what did you get Minerva?" Poppy asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, it is a lovely gift." Minerva said as her faced turned the color of   
her gift.  
  
"Well lets see then." Remus questioned.  
  
"No, I'd rather not." She said, making quickly for the door.   
  
"Oh come now, it can't be that bad, we are all adults here."   
  
Hermione knew exactly what Minerva had received, but how could   
Albus do that? Was it meant as a gag gift? Surely they cannot have a thing   
for each other! She had just learned way too much information about her   
former Head of House.  
  
"Good Day, everyone!" Minerva said, as she took off in a sprint   
towards her room.  
  
Hermione, on the other hand took her time to get to her rooms.  
  
'How could Snape be so shallow! He could have at least not divulge   
all of that information about not liking her gift!' She thought. Thankfully   
because of Hermione's demeanor this drove her even more to find the perfect   
gift for Severus.   
  
'Perhaps a book of curses?' She thought to herself as she made her   
way to her rooms.  
  
**********  
  
"Severus, Sirius, it has been too many years for you both to still act   
like schoolboys! I must remind you that the conduct you showed this   
morning, makes me think less of both of you. You should be ashamed.   
Sirius there is no need for your harsh and rude comments to Severus. And   
Severus I expected better behavior from you. Do you not know the   
consequences of your actions by now?"  
  
"Headmaster, I cannot continue to work in an environment where I am   
constantly belittled by this half-brained." Severus said in his defense.  
  
"And I cannot continue to work with this bearer of bad news, who   
thinks he is the almighty Merlin himself." Sirius said while he was using his   
hand to catch the blood dripping from his nose.  
  
"Why, youÉ" Severus threatened.  
  
"ENOUGH! I have had it from the both of you, if you can not control   
your tongue Severus, and your wand Sirius, you will both be looking for   
new jobs, do I make myself clear?" Albus said fed up with both of them.  
  
"Stay out of my way Black or I swear you'll wish you had never been   
born."  
  
"Then bloody well stay out of my way!" Black retorted.  
  
  
*****  
Severus walked down the hallway down towards the Slytherin   
common room. It was in desperate need of checking up on, but with only   
two Slytherin's staying over holiday, he did not make it a priority.  
  
"Severus, may I have a word with you?" Poppy Pomfrey the school   
nurse said to him.  
  
"Yes, I suppose but can we make it quick I have things to do." He   
said feeling a headache coming on.  
  
"Walk with me to the infirmary." Poppy and Severus walked up the   
staff hallway up to the infirmary. Severus sat down on the edge of one of   
the many beds that occupied the space.  
  
"What did you need to speak with me about?" He asked calmly.  
  
"I am afraid that over the summer when we performed the 'spell' that I   
did not time it very well, you see you will have to have it redone on the 25th   
of December, so that means that you must come in on the 24th.  
  
"I care not, it will occupy my mind." Severus said as his face paled.  
  
"Severus, why do you make yourself go through this? It would be so   
much easier if you.."  
  
"If I what, Poppy? Put myself on display and become the public   
spectacle of Hogwarts? I think not!" Severus shouted.  
  
"But I hate to see you in so much pain. We all do." Poppy said as she   
placed her hand over Severus's arm.  
  
"Look, I will be here on the 24th, just leave me be!" Snape hissed and   
got up and walked out down towards his chambers.  
  
  
Sirius was on the other side of the curtain, waiting for Poppy to heal   
his nose, when he had heard Severus talking to Poppy. He didn't understand   
what they were talking about, a spell that caused Snape pain?  
  
"Poppy, what were you just talking to Severus about?" Sirius asked.  
  
"That Black is a matter between Professor Snape and myself, and you   
should be ashamed of saying what you did this morning, it serves you right   
that your nose is broken." Poppy said retrieving her wand and some   
antiseptic.  
  
"When you mend my nose just make sure it doesn't end up as crooked   
as Snape's." At Black's words Poppy found her hand coming around and   
slapping him in the face.  
  
"Oww! What was that for?" Black looked at her suspiciously.  
  
"Sorry, my hand just must have slipped." Poppy said trying to   
suppress a smile.  
  
"Just be careful, I have worked hard for a face like this." Black said   
egotistically.  
  
"Yes, well Black you could take a very good lesson from Snape to   
know looks are not everything."  
  
"Me take lessons from Snape, I think not. Poor bastard must have to   
be tough, he certainly isn't as good looking as he use to be when we were in   
school. I must have sent too many bludgers to his face."  
  
"Black, do shut up." Poppy said as she finished with Black's nose and   
sent him on his way.  
  
"I wish bludgers to the face were the only things that Snape had to   
worry about." Poppy said to herself while cleaning her potion's stores. 


	8. Haul out the Holly

A/N: OK so my Internet connection was not working earlier today, so   
I was unable to update till now. This chapter was really hard for me to write   
because I had to make sure I didn't leave anything out. I will just say now   
that more will be revealed later.   
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
After dinner in the Great Hall, Hermione was bound and determined   
to follow Snape and see if she could get some clues on what he might   
actually find use for. Earlier that day she paid a visit to Harry, who was now   
married, with a child on the way.   
  
As soon as Hermione arrived the questions started to fly, "SO have a   
boyfriend yet?" "When are you going to settle down and get a nice   
boyfriend." "Hermione, we are worried about you."  
  
"I am well, thanks for asking." Hermione replied with the last   
remaining thread of control.  
  
"So, what are you doing here Hermione?" Ginny Potter asked.  
  
"I actually came by to see if I could borrow Harry's Invisibility cloak   
for the day." Hermione asked.  
  
"Sure, but why do you need it Hermione?" Harry asked her.  
  
"Oh, you know I just have some catching up to do in the library, and   
would best not be disturbed." Hermione struggled to come up with a good   
lie.  
  
"Hermione, you're the librarian, I doubt anyone will disturb you."   
Harry said laughing.  
  
"Right, well I just need to borrow it ok? I will bring I back   
tomorrow." Hermione gave up.  
  
"Ok, here you go, just don't get yourself into trouble." Harry handed   
her the cloak.  
  
"Ha, perhaps you should follow your own advice Harry, this cloak   
was made for getting into trouble, or have you forgotten?" Hermione said as   
she walked over to the fireplace.  
  
"So, Hermione how are you doing, I know Christmas time is always   
the best time of year for you with your parents gone and everything." Harry   
tried to ask.  
  
"I am fine, really I have to run, bye Harry!" She yelled as she took the   
Floo back to Hogwarts.  
  
"Ginny, I am worried about her, she shouldn't be so detached. I know   
she has to have some pent up feelings about what happen to her parents, but   
never once have I even seen her cry."  
  
"Darling, not everyone is meant to cry, others show it in different   
ways. I am sure Hermione has her own way of dealing with it." Ginny said   
as she rubbed his shoulders.  
  
"I just don't know." Harry said looking at the fireplace.  
  
*****  
  
After dinner with the faculty Hermione slipped out before Severus had   
cleared his plate and pulled the cloak over herself and waited for him.  
  
She did not have to wait for long because she soon found herself   
silently walking behind Snape. She had never followed someone like this   
before and the thought made her shutter, when did she sink this low? And   
the fact that doing this gave her a great rush of power, scared her even more.   
  
Severus made several stops on his way to his rooms; the first was to   
the Slytherin common room to check on things. To Hermione's surprise he   
watched as Severus magically cleaned the mess that was made by the two   
occupants, then he moved on to doing room checks. He carefully searched   
the rooms for any contrabands and other banned magical items and removed   
them from the students' rooms. After this was done he flicked his wand and   
a Christmas tree appeared with two small gifts below the tree for the two   
students who stayed over the holiday.  
  
After being in the Slytherin common room for nearly an hour, Severus   
took to his classroom and restocked several missing potions that he had   
bought yesterday shopping. He stopped shortly and sat down at his desk.   
Hermione couldn't read his face, perhaps he was sad, or angered. Whatever   
he was feeling it certainly wasn't happy.   
  
Hermione watched as he opened up one of his desk drawers and pull   
out a purple leather book. It appeared to be a diary. After watching him flip   
through several pages, he quickly shut it and uttered the same words   
Hermione said that night when she wandered into the staff hallways in her   
seventh year.   
  
While the door was opening, Hermione walked over to where the   
diary was laying and read the page that it magically opened to.  
  
"December 1st 1978  
Dear Diary,  
The Dark Lord's powers are growing stronger; Severus can no   
longer keep up the facade of a loyal Death Eater. I see it eating away at his   
soul. He fears that our lives may be in danger if Lucius ever divulged my   
secret. "Baldena dis avont druid font."   
Adolyn  
  
December 18th 1978  
Dear Diary,  
My secret is no longer safe, Severus is working frantically on a   
potion to convince the Dark Lord that I do not have the ability to perform   
powerful wandless magic. Lucius was not the one who told, but was the   
one who desperately tried to convince him that it was not the truth. He has   
had the Cruciatius curse cast on him three times tonight, Severus and I are   
taking care of him, and hopefully he will be all right.  
We do not know how Voldermort found out, but the implications of   
my powers under the Imperio curse are too bad to even think about.  
I found out that I am carrying his child, now it is more important than   
ever before that we can convince the Dark Lord of my allegiance.   
Adolyn  
  
December 23th 1978  
Dear Diary,  
The potion is complete, Severus is sure that it will work, and   
has taken every precaution in testing it. I have not told him that I am   
pregnant, for I do not want him to worry.   
Adolyn"  
  
Hermione read in confusion, there was a fast amount of white space   
then she glanced down at the bottom of the page.  
  
"Adolyn, you died last Christmas, and with you, you took my   
heart."  
  
It was unsigned, but Hermione knew that it was written by the man   
standing in front of her, who had tears in his eyes. Hermione felt pangs of   
guilt. Obviously he would have never wanted anyone to read this, let alone   
a Gryffindor.   
  
Severus walked quickly down the staff hallways, and Hermione   
hurried to catch up. They took a left and then stopped in front of a painting   
of a Medieval unicorn.  
  
He heard him utter the same words that were written in the diary.  
"Baldena dis avont druid font." The portrait swung open and he   
entered his rooms.  
  
Hermione had never seen or heard this language before. She thought   
that it must derive from Latin, but the syllables were irregular from the   
traditional Latin that she had studied. It looks like she had herself a new   
project to work on in the library.  
  
She walked around Severus's rooms and took in the decorative style.   
To her surprise, his room was not as dark and depressing as she had always   
imagined. He had a good-sized window that looked out onto the lake from   
the first floor. His sheets and pillows looked to be silk. The predominate   
color in the room was not black as she had pictured, but a hunter green color   
with accents of silver and gold.   
  
For the most part the room was fairly tidy with a desk in the corner by   
the window, which was covered, in his teaching assignments. It did   
however strike Hermione that despite all of the lavish furnishings, that it was   
fairly empty and not well lived in.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by Severus's voice.  
  
"Stryker? Get out here, I have food." Severus's voice rasped.   
Hermione watched as a long black cat came out from under his bed.  
  
"Here!' He gestured to the bowl on the floor. The cat did not move, he   
just sat in front of the bowl and looked at him then to the corner where   
Hermione was standing silently under the cloak.  
  
"Why don't you eat you stupid cat." He said frustrated. But again the   
cat just looked at him.  
  
"EAT! I am in no mood to play games." He said as he walked into   
the bathroom. This gave Hermione a little time to investigate to see if she   
could get him a Christmas gift that he might actually appreciate.  
  
She glanced to see what was on his desk. She saw papers and ink   
bottles. Her eyes stopped when she saw that he had a pair of reading glasses   
on his desk.  
  
'I would have never imagined that he would have to wear glasses.'   
She thought to herself as she imagined what he might look like with him on.   
The thought somewhat aroused her.  
  
'What on earth is wrong with me? I do not think Severus Snape is   
sexy, but then their was his voice. His voice was like velvet.' Every time he   
spoke it made her shiver inside.   
  
She pushed the thought from her mind and continued searching for   
clues. She moved onto his bookcase. She read some of the titles.   
  
'Edgar Allen Poe, Shakespeare, and Oscar Wilde. Who would have   
ever imagined that Severus Snape liked muggle poets and playwrights?   
There are potential gift ideas here.' She thought.  
  
She kept walking. She stood in front of his dresser and looked at the   
picture that was sitting on the right. It looked like a boy in Slytherin seeker   
robes standing next to a girl with curly blonde hair in Ravenclaw robes.   
  
'This surely cannot be Severus. Severus's face was thin and sallow   
with a slightly curved nose, and surely the eyes bare no resemblance. The   
boy in the picture had a handsome face with dark blue eyes. The thing that   
remained the same was the raven colored hair that curved his elongated   
face.' Hermione reflected.  
  
Hermione's small hands trailed the length of the dresser and stopped   
one last time at the bottles of potion's that lay close to his bed. She picked   
them up and smelled the.  
  
'Reignfold, Dervorsleft, and Coldermain? Why does he have these?   
They are quite powerful healing potions that specialized in.. skin re-growth   
and burns?' She questioned. The jiggling of the door handle interrupted her   
thoughts. She decided now would be a good time to slip out. She quickly   
opened the door and quietly shut it behind her.   
  
'What was he hiding, and who was Adolyn?' Hermione questioned,   
maybe she should go talk to someone who was alive in 1978. It was time to   
pay a visit to Remus. 


	9. Silver Bells

A/N: I know the last few chapters have strayed from the gift exchange, but   
it is all building up. Thanks to all my reviewers again, you all are great.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
"Come in." Hermione heard a voice call out from within Remus   
Lupin's office.  
  
"Hello Remus, are you free?"  
  
"Yes, yes come sit down. Would you like anything to drink   
Hermione?"   
  
"Tea will be fine, thank you." Hermione took a seat across from   
Remus and made herself comfortable.  
  
"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"  
  
"I was wondering if you could answer a few question for me?"  
  
"I will do the best I can, but you were always smarter than your poor   
professor." Remus joked.  
  
"Did you .. Did you ever know a Lady Adolyn, she was probably   
around your age?" Hermione asked. Remus's face went from a smile to a   
more serious look.  
  
"Why do you ask Hermione?"  
  
"Well I had heard Sirius say something to Severus about her, and I   
was just wondering what happened to her."  
  
"Hermione understand this, and this is very important no one that I   
know of, knows just exactly what happened to her, why she died. I can   
however tell you what I know, if you wish. Understand this, it is not to be   
taken lightly."  
  
"Please tell me I want to know."  
  
"Adolyn Dawson was a very pretty Ravenclaw in our class. I did not   
know her all that well, and she pretty well went unnoticed except in our   
Sixth year. It was common knowledge that Severus started to date her in our   
Sixth year. This made Sirius jealous because he had spent the year trying   
desperately for her to notice him. Despite his best efforts she chose Severus.   
  
Several years after we had all graduated from Hogwarts, Albus called   
several of the top wizards and witches back for a special meeting."  
  
"Was that for the Order of Phoenix?"  
  
"Yes, Voldermort was gaining power and we were trying to come up   
with ways to stop his efforts. Sirius, James and I all being Aurors were all   
called back, then there were a few others that worked within the ministry,   
that he called on."  
  
"Was Severus there?"  
  
"No, you see Albus knew that he was working as a spy, but did not   
want to tell us because if we ever caught him, he wanted our reactions to be   
real, in case other Death Eaters were around watching. Severus was never   
really a loyal Death Eater to begin with, and this is what I have found out   
from Albus.   
  
The Headmaster has told me that during our Seventh year, he had   
approached Severus after catching him conspire with Lucius Malfoy to   
sabotage the next Quidditch match against Gryffindor. Albus sat down and   
talked to him about what joining the Death Eaters would be like, if he   
decided to go through with it that following night.   
  
It turns out that on that same night Severus pledged to be a spy for   
Dumbledore and bring him any information that he could to help fight   
against him.  
  
I don't really know what Albus said to him that night, but whatever he   
said Severus has stayed faithful all these long years."  
  
"So where does Adolyn fit into all of this?"  
  
"Adolyn, was known as Lady Adolyn because of her magical abilities.   
She like Albus is able to do wandless magic. Because of this Albus knew   
that she would be a likely target for Voldermort to capture and abuse her   
power. Albus asked her to take the matter into her own hands and convince   
Voldermort that she was a loyal Death Eater, but she had to do this without   
revealing her magical capabilities. The pressure began to add up, and Death   
Eaters were turning against Death Eaters. Somehow a Death Eater found out   
about her magical abilities and instantly Adolyn knew her life was in danger.  
  
What I am about to tell you, is, to the best of my knowledge, the   
account of what occurred on December 24th 1978." Remus paused and ran   
his hand through his silver hair.  
  
"Voldermort had heard through one of his Death Eaters that Adolyn   
was capable of doing wandless magic, and was on his way to her home to   
question her. As Auroras, we were dispatched to the house from an   
anonymous tip. When Sirius, James and I arrived the scene before us was   
horrible. We saw as Severus gave Adolyn a potion to drink, and as she   
swallowed it she start convulse. Sirius ran in and blasted Severus backwards   
onto the floor, and we caught what we had thought was a Death Eater guilty   
of murder.   
  
"What happened to Severus? And surly Severus did not poison her, if   
he did really love her." Hermione said.  
  
"Look at the time!" Remus exclaimed. Hermione knew he was trying   
desperately to avoid the question.   
  
"What happened Remus?"  
  
"Look, Hermione if I could tell you I would I swear but I can't   
because I just don't know." Remus said ushering her out the door.  
  
"Just one more thing then, do you know what "Baldena dis avont   
druid font" means?"  
  
"Where did you hear those words?" Remus asked her. She struggled   
to come up with a sufficient lie.  
  
"I was doing some research in the library and came across it."  
  
"I don't know where you would have seen those words written down,   
but the words you utter are that of the wizarding community's native tongue.   
Some several hundreds of years ago, we did not have the magical capability   
as we now do to control the muggles and prevent them from knowing we   
exist, so it was said that we invented our own language. Roughly translated   
it means "I give my life willingly unto you.""  
  
"Hermione what exactly have you been up to?"  
  
"Nothing, I just was wondering, I was curious." Hermione faintly   
smiled.  
  
"Be careful Hermione I know for whatever reason you are doing this   
it is out of love, but others might not see it that way."  
  
"I have to go, I still have to buy my Secret Santa gift for tomorrow.   
Thanks Remus, I appreciate it." Hermione said as she walked out back   
towards Hogsmeade trying to process what Remus had just told her. 


	10. I'll be home for Christmas

Chapter 10  
  
Severus dressed quickly after his shower, for he still had to choose   
another gift for Granger.   
  
'She seemed satisfied with the quill.' He thought to himself. He sat   
down at his desk and put on his reading glasses and began to grade tests   
while his pondered about her. He remembered the day that he had learned of   
her parents' death.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
"What news do you bring tonight Severus?" Albus queried.  
  
"Nothing good I am afraid. It seems that two Death Eaters killed   
Granger's parents last night. I had to find out from Wally, the Nott's house   
elf." Severus said as his eyes emotionless, were affixed to the fire that   
burned within Albus's office.  
  
"Not, Hermione's, tell me that you are mistaken." Albus asked as his   
eyes softened.  
  
"I am afraid I speak nothing but the truth, He is going after Granger,   
He thinks she will cause Potter to break." Severus said still staring into the   
fire.  
  
"How long do we have?" Albus asked.  
  
"If we keep her safe her at Hogwarts? A month, two at the most. His   
power grows by the day and everyday more and more magical creatures fall   
into his service. He will breech the walls of the school, and when he does   
we either face it head on, or we will be taken under his power."  
  
"We must be prepared for battle, although I do fear it. Can I trust that   
you will insure that Potter is ready, that he is prepared?"  
  
"Of course, I will teach him all that Adolyn and you have taught me,   
but I am afraid I cannot be sympathetic to the boy. If his spirit breaks then it   
is us who are left to pick up the pieces."  
  
"Severus, I ask you, he is no boy any longer. He has grown quite   
powerful, you have no other choice, you must trust him."  
  
"Albus, for you and for Adolyn, I swear to you I will die protecting   
him." Severus said as he looked into the old wizard's eyes.  
  
"I must ask one more thing of you."   
  
"What?"  
  
"You must be the one to tell Miss Granger how her parents died."  
  
"No, you cannot ask me to do this, she will hate me, she already hates   
me."  
  
"Severus you have no one to blame but yourself on that account, and   
she will not hate you, she is smarter than to hate you, she will see the real   
foul. You must not let her be used by Voldermort, protect her, show her the   
kindness that I once showed you.  
  
"I cannot do this!"  
  
"Severus why do you fear this?"  
  
"I do not fear it, it is.. it is just that she reminds me so much of her, I   
cannot put myself through the pain, not again."  
  
"Severus listen to me, she might be your one chance at happiness, try,   
try to show her the soul inside the man."  
  
"You .. you do not know what it is like lying in Azkaban, hearing the   
screams of the one you love. You have never heard, you have never heard   
her crying for life, a life that I took from her!" Severus croaked.  
  
"Severus, you did not kill her, do you understand me, it was an   
accident, a mere accident, no one blames you."  
  
"Everyone blames me! The blame me, they've always blamed me!   
They look at me as if I am no better than a dementor. They look at me as if I   
was the one responsible! I did not ask for this, I asked for none of this."  
  
"Do you want out Severus? Is that what you want? Do you think it   
could make your life better, do you really?"  
  
"I only want for what I can never have." Severus closed his eyes.  
  
"Please Severus do this for me." Albus said as he laid his hand on his   
friend's shoulder. Severus sat silently and nodded.   
  
*******  
  
Later that day..  
  
"Granger, I need to speak with you after class." Severus said as he   
finished handing out the Seventh year's Advance Potion's exams. Hermione   
shook her head and waited for the rest of the class to depart.  
  
Severus hated how she still feared him, even after she knew that he   
was a spy for Albus. Severus found that Hermione was very attractive with   
long curly brown hair, and her eyes, her eyes were like perfect glowing orbs.   
She was so like Adolyn, and yet in so many ways she was different.   
Hermione spoke her mind, and was never afraid, not even when Severus   
challenged her skill in potion making. It pained Severus every time she   
spoke, for it reminded him of his past.  
  
"Sir? What did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione asked   
as she approached his desk.  
  
"Sit down." He said coldly.  
  
"Sir if this was about the exam, I know I could have done better on the   
shrinking solution essay, if you just give me a chance.." She was cut off.  
  
"This Miss Granger has nothing to do with your schoolwork, now sit down."  
  
"Then, what did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione's eyes   
searched frantically around the room.  
  
"There is no easy way to say this Miss Granger. Your parents are   
dead." Severus said looking into her eyes. She looked at him back trying to   
control her quivering lip.  
  
'Why isn't she crying?" He thought. He closed his eyes and focused,   
he entered her thoughts.  
  
'Why, why did he have to tell me? I hate him; he is a horrible man,   
why couldn't Professor McGonagall have told me? Why him?' Severus   
heard as he listened to her thoughts.  
  
"Miss Granger, I do realize that this must be extremely difficult for   
you, but if it comforts you to know, they did not suffer." He said as he   
struggled to think what to do next.  
  
"You.. you're a horrible man, how could you have let them kill my   
parents, how could you let them die?" Hermione screamed and attacked   
Severus.   
  
Severus managed to hold her as she struggled, his free hand went to   
the pocket in his robes. His hand played with a locket that he had found   
after returning to the Granger house the day after their deaths. He had   
intended to give it to her, but her next action did not let for it to happen.  
  
"Leave me alone! I said leave me be!" Hermione screamed. Severus   
entered her thoughts again.  
  
'What is he doing? What a bastard, he was probably the one who   
killed them. I knew he was no better than the rest of the Death Eaters.   
Dumbledore is a fool if he trusts him.' Severus's face drew up in anger, and   
walked out the door slamming it behind him.  
  
(End of Flashback)  
  
Severus never was on good terms with Hermione again. That night   
she had crushed whatever hope he had to try and befriend her. He admits   
that reading her thoughts was wrong, but at least he knew the truth, at least   
he didn't let himself get hurt.  
  
"All this time wasted and still I have no idea what to get her."   
Severus said to himself.   
  
He walked over to his bookshelf and pulled out a very old book that   
his grandfather had given to him. He set it down on his desk and laid it   
open. Within the book laid a beautiful magical bookmark. It was very old   
indeed. He had intended to give to his child one day, but he knew that this   
would not come to pass. He picked up the bookmark and put it in the empty   
bag for Hermione.   
  
"I am sure she will get more use out of this than I ever will." He   
muttered and walked back to his desk and began to grade papers again. His   
mind floated back to the past.  
  
"It was an accident, a mistake! I gave myself willingly to you, do you   
hear me! Where are you when I need you? You said you would stay with   
me forever!" He yelled out and began to cry. 


	11. Santa Clause playing Cupid?

Chapter 11  
  
Hermione continued to walk down to Hogsmeade, where she made   
her way into the local bookstore. She searched everywhere for a particular   
book that she was sure that Severus would enjoy, but she could not find it.   
She supposed this was because the book she was looking for was not a   
magical book, but a book that contained all of Shakespeare's Sonnets. She   
decided that it was time to pay a visit to the muggle world again.   
  
Hermione flooed herself to London, and walked up the street to her   
house, she hadn't been back here since she had to sort out all of her parent's   
possessions. She knew that inside her room there was a very old copy of her   
own Shakespeare's Sonnets that her father had given to her one year for   
Christmas.  
  
She missed her parents desperately and was so hurt when Severus told   
her that they were killed. At the time she knew she acted poorly and knew   
that if could read minds, he would in no doubt walk out shutting the door   
behind him.  
  
'He must be able to read mind, there is no other way that he could   
have gotten mad at me, my parents had just died, what did he expect me to   
do?' Hermione thought to herself.  
  
'He did save my life, I do owe him my trust.' Hermione did not hate   
him, nor did he think he was a bastard, not after learning about Adolyn. But   
she still had so many questions.  
  
'Surely he did not intend to poison her, did he?' She thought   
apprehensively.  
  
'No, something must have reacted wrong.' She said as she unlocked   
her front door.  
  
Her parents' house was small and quaint. Hermione had spent her   
childhood here and could not bear to sell it, even though the realtor told her   
that it would fetch a hefty price on the market. It was a three-bedroom   
house with two baths. Her room overlooked their non-existent backyard, but   
she never minded. She would sit for hours reading or writing thinking about   
the life she would have when she was grown-up. She dreamed of a family   
with a husband who loved her, and children who loved waking up on the   
weekends and spending time with her, her husband, and their grandparents.   
She dreamed that she would be successful and happy.   
  
Looking back at her dreams at a child she realizes that only one of   
them has come true, to be successful. She certainly wasn't married, and her   
parents would never see her own children.   
  
Her eyes had started to water. She had to get out. She couldn't let it   
get to her, she was a Gryffindor, they were courageous, not some push-over.   
She grabbed the book from her room and apparated back to Hogsmeade.  
  
***  
  
"Remus, did it work, did she come to you?" Albus asked as he   
entered the werewolf's office.  
  
"Yes, she did, what are you up to Albus."  
  
"I knew my plan would work, she was not discouraged by how   
Severus reacted to the chocolates, but like a true Gryffindor went looking for   
clues for a better gift." Albus eyes twinkled.  
  
"Albus, don't you think that this is wrong? I mean, I did what you   
asked. I told her what I knew, but what good will that do her?" Remus   
asked.  
  
"Hermione has always like Severus, and I know that Severus likes   
Hermione, the problem is that they are both so afraid to get hurt. So I say   
let's push them off a cliff together. If they face their accusations head on   
they will move on from there."  
  
"I still say matchmaking is a dirty business, especially when your   
client is Severus Snape."  
  
"I know Remus that you show him kindness, when he in return often   
shows none, but there are things that I have been bounded by secrecy that   
you do not know, and I know for a fact that he does not blame you. He   
doesn't even blame Sirius for what happened that night. He blames   
himself."  
  
"What did happen after he was taken to Azkaban? How did you   
convince them to let him out?"  
  
"I submitted my Pensive for evidence." Albus lowered his head.  
  
"You did that for .. him?"  
  
"I have never doubted Severus's allegiance to me. He is a man of his   
word."  
  
"Is he.. is he like Adolyn, does he have the powers that she once had?"  
  
"Yes, and no. He chooses not to use them for the most part, like him,   
they go unnoticed."  
  
"He was the one who stopped that rock from hitting Harry wasn't he?   
He used his mind and stopped the rock." Remus questioned.  
  
"Yes, He would have died for Harry just like he would have died for   
Adolyn." Albus said as he disappeared.  
  
"So, he didn't intend to kill her?" Remus asked to the empty room.  
  
"I hate it when he does that!" Remus shook his head and sat back   
down at his desk.  
  
****  
  
"Severus?' Albus questioned as he looked around the Potion's   
Master's room.  
  
"Headmaster?" Severus questioned as he looked up from his desk.  
  
"Ah there you are! Grading papers during the holiday?"  
  
"They have got to get done sooner or later."  
  
"Poppy tells me that you are having the spell redone on Christmas."   
Albus started off.  
  
"Yes." He did not like where this conversation was headed already.  
  
"Why Severus? Why not leave it undone?"  
  
"You know very well why not, now if you don't mind if this the   
reason of your visit I do not need to hear anymore."  
  
"Why do you do this to yourself. Do you know that it breaks Poppy's   
heart to hear your screams, don't put yourself through that pain."  
  
"If it breaks her heart to hear me, then perhaps she should leave   
because one night of pain is worth the millions of questions that await if I do   
not."  
  
"It is your decision Severus, but maybe once you should try being   
yourself. You have told me before that you do not want to pretend to be   
something your not, then why don't you prove that." Albus asked.  
  
"It is my business! Albus I do not have the patience today."  
  
"Then perhaps tomorrow. It is your birthday after all." Albus said   
knowing that Severus had forgotten. Severus looked at his calendar, the   
Headmaster was right. Tomorrow was the 20th of December, the day in   
which he was born. A day his parents could more or less care nothing about.  
  
"Humph. Another year older, another wasted year."   
  
"Let's try to make this next one count." Albus said as he patted his   
friend's shoulder and walked out. 


	12. Retuned Gifts

A/N: I stayed up last night writing the last chapter, and I will post it later   
today. It is the longest chapter and answers all the puzzles. I have really   
enjoyed writing this story and if anyone wants to beta for me, I could edit it   
and repost on Christmas.  
  
I did find a mistake I made. Severus should of said his birthday was the 19th, in order to   
keep with the timeline.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
The staff gathered in the Headmaster's office once again, awaiting the   
gift exchange. Hermione sat in one corner, while Severus stood in the other   
by the fireplace. She glanced over at him. He was staring into the fire.  
  
'What troubles has he seen? Why is he so alone?' Hermione thought.  
  
"Shall we begin today's festivities?" Albus asked.  
  
"Yes, yes lets get on with it." Several people echoed.  
  
"Before we begin, I do believe it is someone's birthday today!" Albus   
exclaimed.  
  
'No, no not the birthday song, anything but that.' Severus thought as   
he shook his head.  
  
"How about if we sing the birthday song for.."  
  
'Don't say it, don't tell them it is my birthday!' Severus thought again.  
  
"Severus!" He boomed as he walked over to him.  
  
"No, that is not necessary." Severus hissed.  
  
"Come now it isn't every day that someone has a birthday, let alone   
his.."  
  
'Don't say it, don't tell them I am 40.' He thought with a matter of   
urgency.  
  
"40th."  
  
'I can't believe he said it. Well that takes him off my short Christmas   
list.' Severus sulked.  
  
They all began to sing, loud and obnoxiously according to Severus.   
He watched as Hermione began to sing. He had never heard her sing before.   
She although quiet, was quite good. Her pitch and singing style matched   
that of Adolyn's.   
  
'Why does fate play cruel tricks on me.' Severus thought. All of a   
sudden he heard another voice inside his head.  
  
'Fate does not play tricks with you Severus Snape, it is trying to help   
you.' He heard Albus say.  
  
'Don't look so surprised, your not the only one who can read minds.'   
Albus said back inside his head. Severus shrugged it off.  
  
"Now that we have all properly acknowledged Severus day of birth,   
let us move on to the gift exchange." Albus said as he walked over to the   
gift table.  
  
They all opened their presents and went around and shared once   
again. Hermione seemed quite pleased with her gift, and Severus had   
nothing ill to say about his gift. Most of the faculty was amazed not only to   
learn about a famous muggle author and playwright, but more importantly   
that Severus acknowledged that he had heard of him. A Slytherin, enjoying   
the literature of the Muggles, what was to be next Sirius and Severus   
friends?  
  
The faculty burst out laughing when Minerva had received a cat collar   
from her Secret Santa. Although Hermione knew that it must have some   
hidden meaning, as she was once again reluctant to show her gift and saw a   
twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes.  
  
The staff all departed and Hermione walked towards the library. She   
was not alone.  
  
"Granger, what is the meaning of this!" She heard Severus's voice.   
She turned around and saw him extending the book towards her.  
  
"What are you talking about Severus?" She asked.  
  
"You know very well what I am talking about, you cannot give this to   
me."  
  
"And what if I did not."  
  
"Don't you understand, don't you see the game Albus is playing? He   
is trying to play matchmaker, and it will not work, not on me!" Severus said   
angrily at her.  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" Hermione questioned.  
  
"Albus thinks that you might like me, and I you. He thinks I should   
fall in love with you."  
  
"So what are you saying, that I am too ugly to love, that I am too   
smart. That I will die an old spinster?" She fought.  
  
"You are straying from why I came here in the first place." He said   
frustrated.  
  
"Do you think it is so impossible, that I might have feelings for you?"   
Severus stopped at these words.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Of course not, not like that I just wanted to see what your response   
would be. I would, however, count you among friends."  
  
"Then why did you say it in the first place?"  
  
"Why do you find it so impossible to love me, or hell lets start with   
the idea of even liking me." Her eyes bored into him.  
  
"I.. I don't mind you, that is not the point, the point is I will not accept   
this." As he pushed the book into her arms.  
  
"It was a gift!" She exclaimed walking behind her desk.  
  
"It was yours, I saw it at your house!" He exclaimed.  
  
"How? How could you have known?" Hermione asked hurt.  
  
"I was there, I went to your house the night after your parents died. I   
tried to salvage what I could. I put a spell on your house to prevent the   
Death Eater's coming in and ransacking your house." His voice softened as   
he gave up.  
  
"Did you.. did you see them?" She asked as her eyes watered.  
  
"No, they were already taken." He closed his eyes again. She started   
to cry uncontrollably. Severus was standing there watching her cry looking   
out one of the library windows.  
  
He walked silently to the desk and sat down the book and reached into   
his pocket. He grasped the gift he was going to give to her on the last day of   
the gift exchange. It was the locket that he had found on the ground outside   
the Granger's house. His long skinny hands opened and the locket fell onto   
the book. He turned quickly and made his way to his rooms.  
  
"Severus? What is wrong?" Minerva asked as Severus walked   
quickly out of the library.  
  
"Severus?" She said again as she grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"Leave me be Minerva." He said, not with malice but with a weak   
voice.  
  
"What happened, Severus? Tell me what happened."  
  
"Granger is in the library crying, make sure she is comforted." He   
said as Minerva looked into his unreadable eyes.  
  
"What did you say to her?"  
  
"I said nothing, but I do believe that she is finally mourning the   
passing of her parents." He said emotionless.  
  
"And you just left her there?" She questioned.  
  
"What did you want me to do Minerva let her hit at me again? Let her   
hate me instead of Voldermort?" He questioned.  
  
"Go fetch Poppy, I think she will need some Dreamless Sleep potion   
tonight." Minerva told Severus.  
  
"No, you cannot give that to her, it will only prolong the pain, let her   
be. Let her cry alone." Severus said as he turned and walked away.  
  
***  
  
Severus didn't know what was wrong with him, he was actually hurt   
when she said that she did not love him, but what did he expect the way he   
constantly treated her, he was lucky she even considered him a friend.  
  
Did he have feeling for her? Was he just feeding an empty dream?   
Another year older, but yet he was none wiser. 


	13. Twas the Night

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I have loved writing this   
story. This is the last chapter but I am considering writing an epilogue that I   
will post whenever I get it done. The epilogue will be much more light   
hearted and funny. Thanks for sticking with it, and I hope I did an ok job.   
Happy holidays! - Heather  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Severus and Hermione both stopped coming to the gift exchange for   
the remainder of the week. Albus was disheartened, but still had one last   
plan up his sleeve.  
  
"Poppy? May I speak with you in my office?" Albus asked after their   
7th gift exchange.  
  
"Of course, give me but a moment." Poppy replied as she set down   
her things and followed the Headmaster to his office.  
  
"Albus, what is it that you wanted?"  
  
"Are you still planning to redo the spell on Severus tonight?"  
  
"Yes, he will be in the infirmary after dinner. Why?"  
  
"How long will it take the old one to wear off?  
  
"Probably somewhere around midnight or so. Why?"  
  
"I am going to give Hermione and Severus one more shot, this has to   
work! Doesn't he see that Adolyn has sent Hermione to him, to be with?"  
  
"You are playing a dangerous game, if this fails you know he will   
never trust you again."  
  
"It is the chance I take. I believe in Hermione, I believe in her   
courage."  
  
"What do you want me to do?" She asked after a moment's pause.  
  
"Tell Severus that you will be in shortly after midnight to reactivate   
the spell, but do not go, I will send Hermione in. I will tell her that you have   
taken ill and that she is to look after the infirmary."  
  
"Albus, he will still be in pain, the old spell does not leave his body   
unharmed."  
  
"She will care for him, she is powerful, Adolyn has passed her powers   
on to her. I can feel it."  
  
"I hope your right." Poppy sighed.   
  
"If that is all I have work to do, I have to save up my power for   
tonight."  
  
"If all works according to plan, then you shall not need your strength   
tonight, for it is Hermione who needs her strength, and Severus his   
patience."  
  
***  
  
During Christmas Eve dinner in the Great Hall, Hermione was seated   
next to Severus, who, she noticed, wasn't eating much of anything.  
  
"Severus, aren't you going to eat? It is Christmas Eve dinner."   
Hermione asked.  
  
"I am not hungry."  
  
"Well at least try the turkey." She persuaded.  
  
"No thank you!" He hissed. He stood from the table, he had other   
things on his mind. Hermione followed him out of the dinning hall.  
  
"Wait, I never thanked you for returning my locket." She said as she   
caught up to him.  
  
"I found it, outside your house, I am sure you wanted it returned to   
you." He answered simply.  
  
"Thank you, and thank you for the lovely quill and bookmark as   
well."  
  
"How did you know it was me?"  
  
"I knew the moment you gave me the quill where you had gotten the   
idea."  
  
"You are quite funny when you want to be. That day in the library,   
you were so despicable, and yet so open. It was nice getting to know the   
real you like that."  
  
"Oh what do you know?" He said grumpily as he walked away.  
  
"Why did I even bother?" She said to herself standing alone in the   
entry hall.  
  
****  
  
Severus climbed the stairs to the infirmary, he was in pain, but did not   
want to show it at dinner. Every six months he put himself through this hell,   
just to live the next six months in peace. There was neither potion nor spell   
that would relieve his suffering through the night. He would have to bear   
the pain alone and in the darkness as he always had.  
  
"Severus, make yourself comfortable. The house elves have brought   
you your nightgown." Poppy said as she pointed to a bed towards the back   
of the hospital wing.  
  
"Thank you." He struggled to get out, the pain was getting to him. It   
was like facing the Cruciatius cure twice over. Then of course there was the   
painful and tedious task of creating a new spell.  
  
Severus settled into the bed and tried to let his mind wander to happier   
times, but there would never be happier times, the dementors took them   
from him during his time in Azkaban.  
  
"I will be back around midnight to start the new spell." Poppy said as   
she shut the door behind her.  
  
It was late and Hermione was in her rooms when she heard the cries   
that she had heard when she was in school. They were the same cries that   
sent her wandering in the staff corridors that night Snape had given her   
detention. She put down her quill and went out onto the hallway where she   
bumped into Albus.  
  
"Hello Hermione, just the girl I was looking for." Albus said to her.  
  
"Hello Headmaster, what are you in need of?"  
  
"Poppy has taken somewhat ill and has asked that you watch over the   
patient in the infirmary tonight."  
  
"Me? Why me?"  
  
"You excelled in potions and you have the capability of being a   
powerful healer if you want."  
  
"Is that crying coming from the infirmary?" She asked   
sympathetically.  
  
"Yes, I am afraid that she has a rather difficult patient in there right   
now, but I know you will be able to handle it." Albus said as he gave her a   
push to the infirmary stairs.  
  
Hermione walked up the steps and turned the knob that she was so   
close to turning that night in her Seventh year. She entered a rather dark   
infirmary with only the pale moonlight lighting her path. She saw a figure in   
a bed in the corner. He lay still then he jerked suddenly and moaned.   
  
Hermione walked closer and touched his foot.  
  
"Poppy?" A weak voice asked.  
  
"No, she has taken ill, my name is Hermione." She answered as she   
sat at the foot of his bed, his face hidden in the darkness.  
  
"Hermione? What are you doing here!" The voice asked with more   
urgency.  
  
"I was asked to come look after you."  
  
"Get out of here! You don't belong here, you don't understand. You   
wouldn't understand!" The voice hissed out. Hermione recognized it.  
  
"Severus? What are you doing here?" She asked his face was still   
covered.  
  
"I am pain, just leave me be."  
  
"Why? Why do you so desperately want to be left alone? I have   
experienced loneliness, and I weep at night knowing I have no one who   
loves me." She said back drawing closer to his face.  
  
"You are young and beautiful, you will not stay that way forever."  
  
"Listen to yourself, you are not old, you are still young in the eyes of a   
wizard. If you tried maybe someone will love you like your Adolyn once   
did," Hermione pressured.  
  
"How do you know? Who told you?" He asked angrily.  
  
"That is not important. Why do you hide your face in the darkness,   
what are you hiding?" Hermione said as she drew her lighted wand towards   
his face. He struggled, he pushed her away and doing so fell off the bed and   
onto the cold floor. Hermione ran to the other side.  
  
"Are you all right? What do you fear?" Hermione said as she knelt   
down by the cowering Snape and drew her hand to the left side of his face.   
He closed his eyes, and gave in.  
  
Hermione brought her wand to his face and made an awful noise. She   
now understood what had happen that night that Adolyn died. She helped   
Severus back into his bed and sat beside him.  
  
"Do you see! Do you see the kind of monster I am. My face is not   
my face, my eyes are not my eyes!" He hissed again.  
  
"Tell me, tell me what happened." Hermione purred.  
  
Severus looked into her eyes filled with tears, and began his story.  
  
"I was working as a spy for Albus, and my fiancŽe, Adolyn was also   
working for him. We are known to the wizarding worlds as Sages, our   
magic is incredibly powerful, but easily controlled. We are the oldest form   
of magical beings alive, from our people, wizards were formed, a weakened   
version of our kind.  
  
Voldermort found out about Adolyn's powers but not mine. I had   
prepared a potion that would block our powers for a short time in order to   
prove his informant wrong. The potion was ready, and I had tested it   
myself. It was highly toxic to the skin and very powerful. Lucius had   
informed us that Voldermort would be at our house within the hour. I drank   
the potion and gave Adolyn's her share. I heard Auroras around me, and   
gasped when I saw what the potion was doing to Adolyn. She had begun to   
choke, and then she turned a horrible shade of blue. I heard her screaming to   
me, telling me that she was sorry." He paused.  
  
"That she was sorry, when I was the one that did this to her!" He   
yelled out through pain.  
  
"Sirius, James, and Remus were all Auroras. They had seen what had   
happened. Sirius knowing about Adolyn's allegiance to the Headmaster was   
convinced that I had willingly killed her."  
  
"But you didn't did you? It reacted wrong because she was pregnant   
and did not tell you. Isn't that right?" She asked with her heart breaking just   
hearing him talk about this.  
  
"What have you been up to?" Severus asked suspiciously.  
  
"I used Harry's cloak and followed you one day last week." She   
admitted. This was not a time for lies.  
  
"Why?" He simply asked.  
  
"Because I wanted to get you something that would make you happy.   
You seem so sad most of the time, I just wanted you to have one good   
Christmas." She cried.  
  
"I saw the picture in your room, of you and Adolyn at school. She   
was very beautiful." Hermione said after a while of silence.  
  
"Yes she was." He sat in silence.  
  
"Why do you not ask me about my face? Why have you not mocked   
me?" He asked after a while. Light filled the room as he used his magic to   
show her his face.  
  
It was horrible she had to admit it terrified her to look at him in the   
face. Burnt skin scars from his hairline down his neck. It did not touch the   
left side of his face; it stopped after crossing over his nose. She now   
understood what those potions were for and why he was in here, but there   
were his eyes. They were no longer the black endless spheres, but now blue   
like in the picture. Hermione looked into his eyes and felt safe.  
  
"It was Black who did this to me, although I no longer blame him. If   
the roles were reversed I would have reacted the same way. I know that   
now. He preformed the Expelleriamus charm on me, and I went flying   
backwards. I hit the cauldron in which the potion was stored. It spilled and   
my right side of my face fell into it. The affects did not take hold until that   
next morning when I was already locked in Azkaban. No matter how I   
screamed I know no one would save me."  
  
"You were in Azkaban?"   
  
"Yes I stayed there until Potter became known as 'the boy who lived'."   
Severus explained. It was like a dam was broken he could not stop himself   
from telling her. He didn't understand he wasn't furious at her for breaking   
in to his private rooms, but he was glad that she had let him talk, without any   
blame.  
  
Hermione stood up and walked towards the window. She loved him,   
she knew that now. She always had, but she was too blinded by the pain of   
her parents' death. She was still very afraid of what love meant.  
  
"Why do you stay? Why don't you run in fear. I am hideous I know   
that, no appearance charm can hide me from myself. I know what I see in   
the mirror is the truth. Leave! Leave now!" He said becoming afraid that   
he might actually love her. He was pushing her away, but this time   
Hermione did something unexpected.  
  
She walked over to the bed and dragged him to the window.  
  
"Tell me Severus why is it so impossible for you to show any feelings   
towards another human being. Do not forget that I have lost the ones I love   
as well. This is not some pity party for you, S. Snape!" Hermione yelled   
into his face.  
  
"What do you know about love?" He asked.  
  
"I know love is a feeling not an action, I know that love is the   
strongest emotion someone can feel for another person and I know that I   
love you!" She exclaimed as she grasped his face and brought her lips to   
his, and kissed him.  
  
Severus face and eyes were in complete shock. His body melted as   
she continued to kiss him, he clumsily put one of his hands that were at his   
side, around her back. Then he brought the other one behind her head, and   
kissed her back.  
  
They let go briefly.  
  
"Hermione how can you love a face like mine?" He asked.  
  
"I do not see a face whittled with torment and pain, I see the face of a   
happy man whose eyes are as blue as the deepest sea, and as colorful as the   
evening sky." She replied.  
  
"All these years I wondered why Adolyn had not returned to me as   
she had promised, and yet she has. She is within you." He said as he kissed   
her again.  
  
"How I long I have told myself lies, I have always loved you, and I   
always will." She said as they moved to the bed.  
  
"Wait, what about the Appearance charm? Are you going to have it   
put back on tonight?" Hermione asked.  
  
He did not respond.  
  
"Severus I will love you with or without it, although I do prefer the   
color of your eyes without the charm on." She responded.  
  
"Then I shall leave it off, one day at a time." He said to her.  
  
"Don't worry I will always be there with you. Baldena dis avont druid   
font" She said. Severus cocked his head.  
  
"Where did you?" He was interrupted.  
  
"Where I heard it from is not important, what is important is that I   
mean it." She said as she touched his lips with her index finger.  
  
"Dis donna Callai doven. Feery donn e glanus avont." He replied.  
  
"What does that mean? I am not fluent in Old Wizard." She spoke.  
  
"Then I will teach you. It means I have receive a Christmas angel,   
and she may have my heart to keep."  
  
"I would like that." She said as she and Severus both laid down in one   
of the infirmary beds and fell asleep.  
  
"Merry Christmas and to all a goodnight." Albus said softly from the corner of   
the infirmary where he had been hiding. 


	14. Happy Christmas

Epilogue  
  
Severus woke up finding himself entangled with Hermione. His mind reeled   
about what had happen the previous night.  
  
'Well I certainly didn't think I was that good this year.' He thought to himself as his face twisted into a smile.  
  
He carefully maneuvered his way out of the bed trying hard not to wake   
Hermione. He made his way over to the bathroom, where he decided to get dressed.  
  
He pulled on his dark green turtleneck and pulled up his black trousers. He looked up and saw himself, the real Severus, for the first time in a very long time. What amazed him the most were his eyes. He had missed them dearly. His eyes even before the accident was his favorite part of himself.   
  
"Severus? Where did you go?" Hermione asked as she tried to wake herself up.  
  
"In the bathroom, I will be out shortly." He answered back. He turned around to finish getting dressed when there was Hermione staring back at him.  
  
"Good morning." She said as she smiled at him.  
  
"Good morning to you too. Did last night really happen?" He asked.  
  
"Yes it did, and I still feel the same way as last night, do you?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Of course." He replied as he embraced her and started to kiss her.  
  
"You look good today, very festive."  
  
"Oh, my house-elves brought this to me. I am use to wearing my school robes, I hardly ever change."  
  
"I noticed." Hermione laughed.  
  
"So what shall we do today?" Severus said still on a rush from what happened lat night.  
  
"Well, if I am not mistaken, I do believe it to be Christmas."  
  
"Christmas?"  
  
"Yes, you know the holiday in which there be peace on earth good will towards man, well people if you want to be politically correct." Hermione joked.  
  
"Well, I do believe you have been very naughty this year my dear Hermione." He smiled wickedly and picked her up in his arms.  
  
"Severus put me down this instant." Hermione struggled to say as she was laughing so hard.  
  
"I suppose I should go get dressed, we have Albus's annual faculty Yule Ball tonight." Hermione said as she looked in the mirror.  
  
"Oh no, I cannot go, no not like this." Severus said suddenly remembering that he did not have the appearance charm anymore.  
  
"Of course you can, I will be with you, that is all that matters right?" Hermione said as she rubbed his back.  
  
"I don't think I could face them, not like this." He said as he pointed to his face.  
  
"Don't think about them, think about us. Come on, how about we take that hair of yours and tame it a little." Hermione touched his hair.  
  
"What do you mean, tame it?" He asked apprehensively.  
  
"Will you let me put it in a ponytail?" She asked.  
  
"I suppose, it is Christmas, and I have started a new life, it only fitting that my hair come along for the ride." He said looking back at her.   
  
"Come on, let's go get ready." She said as she took his hand and led him to her rooms.  
  
That night Hermione dressed in her finest maroon dress robes, and Severus wore his black slacks with a his navy colored robes that he only wore at graduation and other very special occasions. Hermione had drawn her hair up in a loose bun with a few of her curly locks trickling down the sides of her face. As promised she pulled Severus hair in to a low ponytail with a navy ribbon. Although very reluctant of his face being so free from spell let alone any of his dark hair, he had to admit even with his scars that he looked better than after a good day in Potions class with Neville Longbottom.  
  
"Are you ready?" Hermione asked as she put in her earrings.  
  
"No, but I am sure that that doesn't matter."  
  
"Listen to me Severus, I am sure that they will hardly recognize you scars or not. You look deliciously handsome, trust me." Hermione said as she stood up.  
  
"Well, I guess it is now or never."   
  
"Come on then." Hermione said as Severus drew up her arm and escorted her down to the Great Hall, which had been transformed, into a beautiful Christmas wonderland. The ceiling was snowing, and the trees were sparkling. Severus closed his eyes as he walked into the already started party.  
  
"Who is that next to Hermione?" He heard Daisy Sprout ask.  
  
"I have no idea, look at his face." He heard Aurora Sinastra say back. He cringed and turned away.  
  
"I can't do this Hermione." He hissed quietly.  
  
"Yes you can. Now come on, let's get a seat for dinner.  
  
"Hermione, are you going to introduce us to your date?" Sirius asked rather loudly, indicating that he had already downed a few Butterbeers.  
  
"He needs no introduction, Sirius because you already know him." She replied.  
  
"I have never seen this man in my life, although I must admit his eyes do look familiar. Good God man what happened to your face?" He said as he just noticed.  
  
Severus was about to bark something back to him when he heard the Headmaster's voice.  
  
"Severus! Hermione! How good of you to come. Sit down, dinner will start soon." Albus said.  
  
"You must be mistaken, this is not Severus Snape, Albus you can't make me believe that this man is Snape." Black said in disbelieve.   
  
"Sirius sit down before you make a fool out of yourself." Remus whispered into his ear.  
  
"What happened Severus? Did you finally get what you deserved, did Voldermort finally see through you? Did it hurt you?" Black mocked.  
  
"How dare you, you selfish prat!" Hermione yelled. Severus walked up to him and was about to tell him out of anger what had happened, but he stopped himself.  
  
"Sirius I pity you, even you can't recognize what it is to be kind anymore. Do you even know why I hid this from everyone? Do you? It was because of people like you. People who are too wrapped up in their outer looks to even remotely care about the person inside. I pity you Sirius Black because when you are old and gray and your looks go, there won't be any substance to fall back on." Severus said as he walked to the table to sit down.   
  
The rest of dinner Sirius would every now and again look up at Severus and Hermione and scowl. Albus walked over to Sirius and began talking to him. Severus tried to ignore it and enjoy the time he was spending with Hermione.   
  
"Severus, I think I failed at making your Christmas better with my gifts. Tell me what would have you had wanted." She asked.  
  
"You did not fail, you have made my Christmas because I got you, no matter how blind I was to see it, I need you."  
  
"I need you too." Hermione said as they kissed.  
  
"I didn't get you a Christmas present, and I know this is rather unexpected but. Hermione I have known you for many years now, your intelligence is remarkable, your courage is outstanding, and your love and devotion to everything you do is what I love about you. I have had this ring for many years. My Grandmother gave it to me, and I once gave it to Adolyn, but if you wish to spend the rest of your life with me, it will be yours." Severus whispered at their end of the table after they had finished their dinner.  
  
"Will you marry me?" Severus asked.  
  
"Wow, this is rather quick, I mean I love you so much.."  
  
"Then what is there to think about we can make the engagement as long as you wish, just say you will marry me, make a vow on this Christmas."  
  
"Then... yes I will marry you Severus. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She responded as she squeezed his hand. Severus closed his eyes and gave a small smile.  
  
Everyone was getting up to from dinner, and Sirius walked over to Severus and looked at him.  
  
"Did you just come to stare some more or do you have something of content to say?" He asked.  
  
"I am... sorry." He choked out.   
  
Hermione looked at Sirius, and had a feeling that he had more to say to Severus, so she quietly dismissed herself.  
  
"Forget it." Severus shrugged off.  
  
"No, I need to talk with you. I..I did this to you didn't I?" Sirius asked guiltily.  
  
"No, I did it to myself Black, don't feel guilty for me, I carry enough guilt for both of us." He said as a nicely as he could manage.  
  
"I didn't know, I swear!" Sirius cried out.  
  
"I know Black, I know. Look just forget about it."  
  
"You loved her didn't you?"  
  
"Adolyn? Yes I always will love Adolyn."  
  
"Do you love Hermione?"  
  
"I have found the closest thing to Adolyn, and I love her, not just the similarities between them, but also the differences."  
  
"You deserve to be happy, I am sorry for not understanding."  
  
"This must be some kind of Christmas miracle, Sirius Black apologizing then wishing me happiness." He smirked.  
  
"It is Christmas after all." Sirius said and turned to walk out."  
  
"Wait, Sirius, I didn't mean everything I said earlier, you have some substance, if you try. In school if you had paid a little more attention to the professor instead of new ways to explode my cauldron, you could be a decent potions master, obviously nowhere near compared to me, but decent."  
  
"Thank you Severus, Happy Christmas." He said as he walked towards the door.  
  
"Happy Christmas Sirius." After these words came out of his mouth, he couldn't believe what he had just said, perhaps Hermione was the answer to his Christmas wish. 


	15. Stocking Stuffer

I just wanted to thank everyone that took the time to review my story last year, and this year. I really love this story because it is my first long fic that I have been able to complete. I realize that sometimes Snape is a little out of character, but a little change is good right? Well I hope everyone has a happy Christmas, and enjoy this little cut scene:  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$**$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$**$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$**$*$*$*$  
  
"Albus, I can't believe that you got me that hideous pair of knickers. What kind of woman do you think I am?" Minerva said after the entire faculty had departed after one of the gift exchanges.  
  
"Oh come on know I thought that they wereÉ well sensual."  
  
"If we weren't more than colleagues I would have to say that you are bordering on the line of sexual harassment." She said jokingly.  
  
"Well I think that we all could use a little bit of happiness during the holidays, don't you think?" Albus said as he slipped his hand around her waist.  
  
"Albus, please not in front of the readers."  
  
"Oh all right, but you know that they were wondering about those knickers in chapter 5."   
  
"Well they can wonder all they want now, we are not taking this conversation any further." Minerva said sternly.   
"You know your almost starting to sound like Severus."  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
"You heard me, Ms. Scrooge."  
  
"Well perhaps I will just have to prove you wrong, I will not be compared to a Slytherin."  
  
"Then come, show me your cat like qualities."  
  
"Oh behave Mr. Clause."  
  
"I am sorry reader, but I believe it is time for us to make our exit."  
  
"Happy Christmas!" 


End file.
